From the NBA : How Not to Polish Your Resume

Last week, the Los Angeles Lakers hired former player Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as an assistant coach. There was a bit of talk about this around Los Angeles. It's a nice story - the Lakers are bringing back one of their former great centers to help coach and train their long-term center project, Andrew Bynum. This story didn't make me laugh.

But this did. The September 3rd Los Angeles Times article (registration required) talked up Abdul-Jabbar's qualifications-

Abdul-Jabbar... has been a volunteer assistant with a high school team on an Arizona Indian reservation, has coached a minor league professional team in Oklahoma City and has worked with NBA players such as Shawn Bradley and Michael Olowokandi.

WOW. That is one AMAZING heck of a coaching pedigree. Shawn Bradley AND Michael Olowokandi? Two of the biggest disappointments at their position in the past twenty years of the NBA - and he can proudly take credit for having coached BOTH of them? What - was Yinka Dare too good to take coaching from Abdul-Jabbar?

Abdul-Jabbar might turn out to be a great assistant coach for the Lakers. But someone has got to get to him and help him rewrite his resume. Play up the NBA championships, the MVPs, the leading scorer record. Hell, play up the fact that he was the FRIGGIN CO-PILOT in the AIRPLANE movie. Play up the fact that he LITERALLY put his footprint across Bruce Lee's chest.

But man oh man. Admitting to coaching Shawn Bradley and Michael Olowokandi is like admitting to a 420 on the SAT or admitting to writing Ben Affleck movies. You can be proud of your work - but better keep it to yourself.

We clear, Clarence?