Eye Thickness

Got back from the eye doctor. My eye doctor saw something in the last visit that had him concerned that I might be seeing the onset of early glaucoma, so he scheduled another appointment to check my corneas. Without getting technical, thin corneas would be a warning sign that I was in trouble. Thankfully, it's highly unlikely that I have anything to worry about, as today's check of my corneal thickness revealed that my corneas are thick.

THICK.

Is there anything about me that ISN'T thick? You could use the word "thick" to describe just about any part of me. Eugene's head? Thick. Eugene's neck? Thick. Eugene's stomach, thighs, calves? Thick, thick, thick. Eugene's sense of self-deprecating melodrama? Thick.

Now apparently, my corneas are thick. Is that a good thing? Will people be impressed? Will car salesmen give me mad respect because of my corneas? Could I use my corneas to impress the women? "Hey there, my cornea thickness is 583. Can I buy you a drink?"

Which brings up another question. Do Asians have thicker eyes? I mean, our eyes have less surface area to cover than round eyes. The flaps are folded over - maybe Asian eyes are folded over a couple times? Maybe it's some sort of evolutionary design that Asian eyes are narrow and thick?

The important thing is that I'm not going blind. I guess it's good to be thick.