Worst Thing About the Holidays (Angry Hate-filled Rant)
I don't hate many things in life. Especially around Christmas. But there's one thing that arrives every December that has to be the worst annual tradition of all time. It's insulting, insipid, stupid, degrading - and it happens EVERY DECEMBER.
I'm talking about those holiday Lexus commercials.
You know the ones? With the same annoying fingernails-on-chalkboard music year after year after year? And the commercials always show husbands and wives giving each other a Lexus for the holidays? With an oversized novelty bow neatly wrapped on top? And the same annoying music year after year after year?
LOOK, Lexus. I like rich people. I really do. Someday I hope to be one of them. And whatever they do with their money is totally cool with me. But I do NOT want to see these stupid ads. They infuriate me in too many distinct ways.
First off, what kind of idiot - even if they HAVE the money to blow $50,000 plus taxes and surcharges on a present - would give the gift of an AUTOMOBILE? Gifts need to be somewhat returnable if they don't fit or if they're the wrong color or if they're a stick-shift instead of an automatic. Gifts should not lose a huge chunk of its resale value as soon as you leave the mall. Gifts should not have gift receipts that require a credit check.
If a loved one gave ME a car for the holidays, I wouldn't be all happy and lovey dovey. I'd try and throttle some sense into them. After I carefully rip that stupid over-sized novelty bow off the roof of the car. How is someone else supposed to know what kind of car I'd like to drive? The color? The features? The warming leather seats that gently cushion and support my posterior? An automobile is something I WANT TO PICK OUT MYSELF. I DO NOT want some person picking it out for me. And what if I like my current car? Can't trade it in - it's too late. I've already got the stupid car with the over-sized novelty bow. I'd probably have to bury the old car in a lake... maybe with the loved one who gave me the new Lexus in the trunk.
Leave the giving of cars as gifts to trained professionals like Bob Barker and Pat Sajak.
And why is Lexus pointing these commercials at me? I get it if they want to advertise to rich people. Maybe buy full size ads in "Rich Person Magazine" or sponsor the Golf Tour or something. But during SPORTING EVENTS and PRIMETIME SHOWS watched by NORMAL PEOPLE? Does Lexus get some sort of sick pleasure out of giving us a window into the lives of the rich? Are they one step away from showing me Donald Trump taking a bath in his bathtub?
C'mon Lexus. Shake yourself. You should be known for luxury cars - not over-sized bows.
I'm talking about those holiday Lexus commercials.
You know the ones? With the same annoying fingernails-on-chalkboard music year after year after year? And the commercials always show husbands and wives giving each other a Lexus for the holidays? With an oversized novelty bow neatly wrapped on top? And the same annoying music year after year after year?
LOOK, Lexus. I like rich people. I really do. Someday I hope to be one of them. And whatever they do with their money is totally cool with me. But I do NOT want to see these stupid ads. They infuriate me in too many distinct ways.
First off, what kind of idiot - even if they HAVE the money to blow $50,000 plus taxes and surcharges on a present - would give the gift of an AUTOMOBILE? Gifts need to be somewhat returnable if they don't fit or if they're the wrong color or if they're a stick-shift instead of an automatic. Gifts should not lose a huge chunk of its resale value as soon as you leave the mall. Gifts should not have gift receipts that require a credit check.
If a loved one gave ME a car for the holidays, I wouldn't be all happy and lovey dovey. I'd try and throttle some sense into them. After I carefully rip that stupid over-sized novelty bow off the roof of the car. How is someone else supposed to know what kind of car I'd like to drive? The color? The features? The warming leather seats that gently cushion and support my posterior? An automobile is something I WANT TO PICK OUT MYSELF. I DO NOT want some person picking it out for me. And what if I like my current car? Can't trade it in - it's too late. I've already got the stupid car with the over-sized novelty bow. I'd probably have to bury the old car in a lake... maybe with the loved one who gave me the new Lexus in the trunk.
Leave the giving of cars as gifts to trained professionals like Bob Barker and Pat Sajak.
And why is Lexus pointing these commercials at me? I get it if they want to advertise to rich people. Maybe buy full size ads in "Rich Person Magazine" or sponsor the Golf Tour or something. But during SPORTING EVENTS and PRIMETIME SHOWS watched by NORMAL PEOPLE? Does Lexus get some sort of sick pleasure out of giving us a window into the lives of the rich? Are they one step away from showing me Donald Trump taking a bath in his bathtub?
C'mon Lexus. Shake yourself. You should be known for luxury cars - not over-sized bows.
posted by Eugene at 2:04 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks a lot Eugene. Coulda let us know BEFORE we started shopping.
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