Tales from the Dojo

At a break point in what I'm working on. I'm writing a longer blog post now about the writing business, but in the meantime, I figure I'd regale you with what you all really want to hear.

Stories about me getting injured and humbled in amusing ways.

I'm now through five martial arts classes - and so far, so good. It's really hard, but I'm learning a ton. Again, I've never been a martial arts guy. Never had any interest in it, but I'm doing this for research purposes for something I'll be writing soon (hopefully!). Anyways, a few observations-

-The sensei doesn't just like to show HOW to do things - he likes to explain WHY things should be done that way. He frequently uses you as a prop to show what happens if you don't do things the way he teaches. So picture the 85 year-old sensei coming up to you and saying, "Now watch. Eugene, I want you to hit me in the head."

Now I know that I'm not going to hit him - he's going to block it. I know this. I KNOW this. But I don't want to hit an 85 year-old man in the head. So I hesitate, then half-heartedly try to slow motion move towards him. The sensei laughs and says, "Go ahead and just hit me."

So I try again and try to hit him... but I just can't do it. I am just not wired that way. I repeat - I am just not wired to be able to hit an 85 year-old man in the head. I realize that it may make me look weak, but if there's a GOOD way to hit an 85 year-old man in the head, please let me know.

-Never realized how much martial arts is like dancing. There's one guy in the class who has terrible coordination. He's slowly picking up all the stuff being taught, but his coordination makes it impossible for him to walk in a straight line. Whenever we're practicing anything involving movement, he's flailing all about the place like a drunk trying to walk a sobriety checkpoint. Which wouldn't be bad except that he's usually next to me in practice, meaning I've got to avoid getting blindsided by .08.

-Finally, I've got my second really painful blister on my left foot. The good news is that sensei told me that the location of the blister is actually a good sign of whether my footwork is good - bad footwork leads to a blister on the side of the foot, while good footwork leads to one in the center of the foot. YAY! I have good footwork! I mean, OW - I think I'm dying!