Girls vs Boys
Remember when we were kids on the elementary school playground? How did a boy show a girl that he liked her? He would do something horrible to her - like spit at her, or call her a mean name, or something like that.
Hey, don't blame me. We're boys. That's just the way we were wired.
Anyways, one of the things boys would do all the time is gross the girls out. You know, burping or squishing bugs or chewing up food and pretending to barf. You know - classic playground comedy bits. The brave boys laugh while the squeamish girls run away and tell the teacher.
But as boys and girls get older, somewhere along the way, something happens. As girls become grown-ups and have to learn about childbirth, their bodies, and other health-related topics, the boys never mature or grow up. The end result? The girls become tougher and the boys become wusses.
Case in point, today I was in a chat room with a couple friends. And a buddy of mine - a GIRL - tells us one of the grossest things she ever saw. I'll spare you. Needless to say, it was DISGUSTING. All the guys were cringing in horror. It was really really awful. There's no mental bleach that will clean that awful thought from my head.
And it hit me again. Why are girls so gross now? Why can't guys keep up with the other gender?
And why are they so mean to us? It makes me want to go squish a bug.
Hey, don't blame me. We're boys. That's just the way we were wired.
Anyways, one of the things boys would do all the time is gross the girls out. You know, burping or squishing bugs or chewing up food and pretending to barf. You know - classic playground comedy bits. The brave boys laugh while the squeamish girls run away and tell the teacher.
But as boys and girls get older, somewhere along the way, something happens. As girls become grown-ups and have to learn about childbirth, their bodies, and other health-related topics, the boys never mature or grow up. The end result? The girls become tougher and the boys become wusses.
Case in point, today I was in a chat room with a couple friends. And a buddy of mine - a GIRL - tells us one of the grossest things she ever saw. I'll spare you. Needless to say, it was DISGUSTING. All the guys were cringing in horror. It was really really awful. There's no mental bleach that will clean that awful thought from my head.
And it hit me again. Why are girls so gross now? Why can't guys keep up with the other gender?
And why are they so mean to us? It makes me want to go squish a bug.
posted by Eugene at 8:51 PM
3 Comments:
"And why are they so mean to us? "
Because you have cooties. Duh!
Boys having cooties is a myth perpetuated by the elementary school intellectuals, and we all know that elementary school intellectuals have a liberal bias. I can point to vague suppositions that prove unequivocally AND equivocally that the rate of cooties in boys is no higher than the rate of cooties in girls.
Also, girls cause global warming.
That, and I hear their menstruation attracts bears.
Post a Comment
<< Home