I object

Greetings from jury duty. They have more security at this courthouse than at the airport. Makes sense, though. They have to confiscate the weapons, or else all the prospective jurors would KILL OURSELVES FROM BOREDOM.

First they had some judge walk in and tell us all about how awesome we all were for doing our civic duty. He looked like a nerdy cross between Peter Bogdanovich and a bridge troll. Then they showed us a horrible video about the virtues of jury duty and what it entails. I kept myself entertained for a few minutes by playing a game I call, "Educational Video Ethnic Bingo." You pick five ethnicities, minorities, or groups - then wait and see if one shows up in the video for diversity's sake. If you get five, you shout out, "Educational Video Ethnic Bingo!" I got Asian, elderly, Hispanic, and gay/lesbian (maybe - I have poor gaydar, but that haircut on a woman? It counts.). I missed out on bingo because there was no amputee or wheelchair disabled person.

There were about 150 people in the jury room, then they called the first 50 or so for the first group. I was hoping not to have my name called. The suspense didn't last long - I was the THIRD PERSON CALLED.

Then all of us got herded like sheep to the hallway outside the courtroom. I half expected some big Aussie or Scotsman to be waiting for us with a razor. BAA!

More about how I hate jury duty later.