With a Name Like This

So I have this running joke in my life.

My name.

It's Eugene.

Pretty bad, huh?

I'm pretty sure that it's the worst name in the world. What names are actual SYNONYMS for nerd? EUGENE! If you want to call someone a nerd, and your verbose nature wants you to mix it up and pick a new word, you can call them a EUGENE.

The only other people who have an argument are people named "Melvin" - and even then, Eugene is still worse. In every movie or television show where you want to quickly let the audience know that the character is a nerd? You call them Eugene.

Now, I have a friend who thinks his name is worse and he insists that Eugene isn't that bad. Bless him for thinking that, but there is a mountain of evidence to the contrary. We've discussed our differences of opinion, but I think I have new evidence that will end this discussion.



Discussion over. Meet Eugene.

He's a professional wrestler. Friday night, while I was lying in bed, I came upon some WWE wrestling and discovered this wrestler. Named Eugene. He wrestles in a superhero costume with a backwards "E" on it. Much to my horror, I did a google search for him and discovered lots of pictures and web pages, where they imply that he's a mentally retarded wrestler. And his real name? Not Eugene. According to Wikipedia, his real name is "Nick" - but he CHOSE the name Eugene.

Oh - but it gets worse.



This is what I have to live with. He wrestles with "Eugene" sewn on his posterior.

How I wish I hadn't accidentally watched pro-wrestling Friday night. How I wish I'd never known about this guy. Mostly, how I wish I'd been named something respectable.

Anything but Eugene.