Baby It's Warm Outside
First off, I made a mistake in my last blog post. The movie I was thinking of was "28 Days Later" - the zombie movie. Not "28 Days" - the Sandra Bullock movie about a woman in rehab. But instead of correcting it, I'm leaving it. Somehow it's funnier uncorrected.
Now let me rant about the heat.
I know - I know. Everyone in Southern California is complaining about the heat. But this one got me so angry, I had to post it.
Saturday night, I accidentally left a book in my car. No big deal, right? I went out to the car to get it on Sunday - and my book had MELTED. IT LITERALLY MELTED. Because of the heat, the ink had turned back into liquid form and fused all the pages together.
I'll spare you the rant where I tell you how much I paid for said book. Suffice to say, it wasn't a cheap book.
Raise your hand if you knew that the interior of a car could get hot enough to cook a book. Somehow I picture a James Bond villain strapping 007 to the inside of my compact sedan, leaving the sedan out in the San Fernando Valley sun, and watching as he melts away. "You may have survived my death rays, guns, knives, lasers, great white sharks, the Asian hitmen who throw hats... but not even you can survive the Valley! MUA-HA-HA-HA!!!"
And that's how I picture my book's last few moments. Like Toht at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I'm angry at myself for forgetting my expensive book in the car. But I'm more angry at the heat. And really, why blame myself when I can blame an inanimate condition of temperature?
Stupid heat.
Now let me rant about the heat.
I know - I know. Everyone in Southern California is complaining about the heat. But this one got me so angry, I had to post it.
Saturday night, I accidentally left a book in my car. No big deal, right? I went out to the car to get it on Sunday - and my book had MELTED. IT LITERALLY MELTED. Because of the heat, the ink had turned back into liquid form and fused all the pages together.
I'll spare you the rant where I tell you how much I paid for said book. Suffice to say, it wasn't a cheap book.
Raise your hand if you knew that the interior of a car could get hot enough to cook a book. Somehow I picture a James Bond villain strapping 007 to the inside of my compact sedan, leaving the sedan out in the San Fernando Valley sun, and watching as he melts away. "You may have survived my death rays, guns, knives, lasers, great white sharks, the Asian hitmen who throw hats... but not even you can survive the Valley! MUA-HA-HA-HA!!!"
And that's how I picture my book's last few moments. Like Toht at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I'm angry at myself for forgetting my expensive book in the car. But I'm more angry at the heat. And really, why blame myself when I can blame an inanimate condition of temperature?
Stupid heat.
posted by Eugene at 3:32 AM
6 Comments:
-Do you expect me to talk?
-No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to sit patiently while the inside of the car heats up! ...It could take a while, you might want to turn on the radio.
-Can I at least listen to Indie 103.1 while I die?
-Sorry, no. This is the San Fernando Valley. You're just going to have to make do with JackFM.
-NOOOOooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Did you lose your awesome photo book? That sucks! If so, I hope all the info was saved so you can redo it.
Dani
Yup, it was the awesome photo book. All the info was saved in iPhoto, so I just ordered a new copy.
Hope you're feeling better!
That's just like Apple, using cheap ink on their heat-sensitive photo books. On the up-side, their stuff is photo-degradable, but then so are your memories apparently.
;-)
(sob) My poor memories...
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