Phlebotomy is not Phunny
Went to the doctor's today for a check-up. First off, the Motion Picture Health Clinics are awesome. In my entire life, they're the only place that I've ever been where they never mess up the insurance, everyone looks happy to be there, the doctors and nurses don't have that crazy look in their eyes.
It's safe to say that the Motion Picture Health Clinics are the nicest, most humane thing about the entertainment industry. Which makes it even more hysterical that there are parents willing to pimp out their kids for shows like Kid Nation. Because I can't think of anyone more trustworthy to watch my kids than Hollywood.
Anyways, today's physical was in the Natalie Schaefer wing of the Woodland Hills Clinic. It's kinda fun to fill out your forms while being watched by Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island.
So I was in a good mood as I headed down to the laboratory to get bloodwork drawn. And while the phlebotomists were nice, they wouldn't smile or laugh at anything. I didn't realize that phlebotomy was such SERIOUS business.
When the first one sat me down and lowered the big armrest thing in front of me, trapping me in the chair, I said, "I think you'll find that escape is impossible."
[Dead silence] [Crickets]
Then later when someone asked about my middle name, I told them my middle name story (I thought I had blogged about this, but I can't seem to find the page) - then added, "This is why I hate my mom and dad."
[Dead silence] [Crickets]
Ouch, tough room. Then again, I suppose if you spent every day stabbing Hollywood people with needles, desperately trying to squeeze one drop of blood from their cold, heartless sold own soul to Satan for a five figure option veins, maybe you just tune out whatever they're saying. Or maybe stabbing Hollywood people all day, they've just heard all the bad jokes all day long. Or maybe stabbing people all day just gives you a hardened exterior.
Or maybe I'm just not that funny. But that can't possibly be the reason, right? Right?
[Dead silence] [Crickets]
It's safe to say that the Motion Picture Health Clinics are the nicest, most humane thing about the entertainment industry. Which makes it even more hysterical that there are parents willing to pimp out their kids for shows like Kid Nation. Because I can't think of anyone more trustworthy to watch my kids than Hollywood.
Anyways, today's physical was in the Natalie Schaefer wing of the Woodland Hills Clinic. It's kinda fun to fill out your forms while being watched by Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island.
So I was in a good mood as I headed down to the laboratory to get bloodwork drawn. And while the phlebotomists were nice, they wouldn't smile or laugh at anything. I didn't realize that phlebotomy was such SERIOUS business.
When the first one sat me down and lowered the big armrest thing in front of me, trapping me in the chair, I said, "I think you'll find that escape is impossible."
[Dead silence] [Crickets]
Then later when someone asked about my middle name, I told them my middle name story (I thought I had blogged about this, but I can't seem to find the page) - then added, "This is why I hate my mom and dad."
[Dead silence] [Crickets]
Ouch, tough room. Then again, I suppose if you spent every day stabbing Hollywood people with needles, desperately trying to squeeze one drop of blood from their cold, heartless sold own soul to Satan for a five figure option veins, maybe you just tune out whatever they're saying. Or maybe stabbing Hollywood people all day, they've just heard all the bad jokes all day long. Or maybe stabbing people all day just gives you a hardened exterior.
Or maybe I'm just not that funny. But that can't possibly be the reason, right? Right?
[Dead silence] [Crickets]
posted by Eugene at 1:19 PM
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