Evil Pharmaceutical Companies
Plenty of people hate the pharmaceutical companies. Some legitimate reasons, some absurd reasons. And there are serious weighty issues involved, mostly involving things like drug price controls, public safety issues, how much money they put towards R&D. Can we create new drugs without the profit-seeking capitalistic element? Serious weighty issues.
All a smoke screen. The real reason to hate the evil pharmaceutical companies? The STUPID names for the drugs they make.
I've been on Claritin since back before it became available over the counter, and it's been my allergy medication of choice for a few years now. But a few months ago, my doctor recommended that I try something different and wrote me a prescription for another allergy medication. This medication I'm on has a three syllable name.
And I can't remember the name of it.
So anytime someone asks me what I'm taking for my allergies, I always end up answering, I used to take Claritin, but now I'm taking Viagra for my allergies.
Pause.
No no no! I'm not taking that! It's something else! It's this new thing. It's Levitra. NO NO NO! Wait! Stop laughing! I'm not dysfunctional in that way! I'm not lying! It's the truth! I'm 100% effective! The new drug I'm taking. It's... it's...
This hasn't happened just once. This has happened a few times. Every time I have to remember this new allergy medication, I always answer with one of the two famous E.D. drugs that they're always advertising on television.
[Side rant. Every Sunday, they're always playing Viagra ads during my NFL games - and the new Viagra ads are cringe-worthy in their awfulness. And their homo-eroticism. A bunch of guys in one remote place with no women anywhere, singing passionately about their E.D. drugs? I suppose the previous commercial with the old guy throwing the football through the tire was too subtle?!?]
Anyways, despite what I may have accidentally told you, I'm taking ALLEGRA for my allergies. Not Viagra. Not Levitra.
Allegra.
Okay, you can stop laughing now. Please?
All a smoke screen. The real reason to hate the evil pharmaceutical companies? The STUPID names for the drugs they make.
I've been on Claritin since back before it became available over the counter, and it's been my allergy medication of choice for a few years now. But a few months ago, my doctor recommended that I try something different and wrote me a prescription for another allergy medication. This medication I'm on has a three syllable name.
And I can't remember the name of it.
So anytime someone asks me what I'm taking for my allergies, I always end up answering, I used to take Claritin, but now I'm taking Viagra for my allergies.
Pause.
No no no! I'm not taking that! It's something else! It's this new thing. It's Levitra. NO NO NO! Wait! Stop laughing! I'm not dysfunctional in that way! I'm not lying! It's the truth! I'm 100% effective! The new drug I'm taking. It's... it's...
This hasn't happened just once. This has happened a few times. Every time I have to remember this new allergy medication, I always answer with one of the two famous E.D. drugs that they're always advertising on television.
[Side rant. Every Sunday, they're always playing Viagra ads during my NFL games - and the new Viagra ads are cringe-worthy in their awfulness. And their homo-eroticism. A bunch of guys in one remote place with no women anywhere, singing passionately about their E.D. drugs? I suppose the previous commercial with the old guy throwing the football through the tire was too subtle?!?]
Anyways, despite what I may have accidentally told you, I'm taking ALLEGRA for my allergies. Not Viagra. Not Levitra.
Allegra.
Okay, you can stop laughing now. Please?
posted by Eugene at 7:50 PM
1 Comments:
You sure it's not Cialis?
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