My New Mortal Enemy

I'd like to think I'm a good person - no one out there really hates me.

Well, okay, there's that ex-girlfriend from college, but she has a good reason to hate me. You'd hate me, too, if you had dated college-me.

But now, I have a mortal enemy. Because today while looking in the pantry for something for lunch, I found an old can of Chef Boyardee Mini-Ravioli. Feeling hungry and not very interested in my long term health, I decided to eat it. The can has one of those pop-tops - so I pulled on the tab and POP.

Right into my finger.

You ever get those cuts that're so painful that your legs start to shake? It was one of those. The side of my left pinky finger now has a decent gash in it that's finally stopped bleeding.

It'd be easy to blame myself for being careless. But it'd be even easier to blame Chef Boyardee.

That's right Boyardee. You and me? We're through. You're dead to me now. Curse you, Chef Boyardee.

CURSE YOUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!