A Journey through Old Photos

I'm digging through a bunch of old photographs - sorting and scanning stuff that've been sitting in boxes in the back of the garage. No, I'm not posting them here - quit asking. A few observations that may interest no one else but me, but-

-Looking at old family photos, I think we've finally isolated where the Eugene-overly-smiley-gene is inherited. Certain relatives have it, others don't. It's kinda obvious from the pictures which ones have it.

-Found pictures from my parents' honeymoon in a stack next to pictures from my honeymoon. My parents were an arranged marriage - mine was not. One guess which honeymoon had the really AWKWARD photos? Seriously, their honeymoon looked like a funeral.

-In my old baby picture albums, I found that some photos had been turned around for some reason. As I dug through, I discovered that all of these were baby photos where I'm in the bathtub.

Then it hit me. At SOME POINT in the past, young Eugene must've gone through and turned over all the photos where there's full-frontal baby nudity. I honestly don't remember doing this, but somewhere in my childhood, I blocked out the traumatic memory of going through and hiding my shame.

And I have to say... I'm okay with it. But what is it with moms who think it's so adorable to have their son letting it all hang out?

-While I'm complaining, this is the obligatory complaint about how my parents dressed me. There's one particular photo from the 1980s which is never going to see the light of day.

Aviator glasses, bowl cut, short shorts, and tube socks up to my knees? And you wonder why I'm so bitter all the time?

-But there were some pleasant revelations among the pictures. For example, my pre-school teacher was apparently a hottie. I obviously never looked at her that way when I was five years-old, but the pictures don't lie. Ms. Cindy was smoking in a wholesome late 1970s/early 1980s sorta way.

Is that wrong to say? It's not like I could track her down anyway. "Hey, remember me? Several years ago, you taught me my colors and shapes? How about we meet up for drinks sometime?"

Ugh. That may be the creepiest thing I've ever written - and that's saying a lot.

-School pictures are kind of a scam, but I didn't realize how bad it was until I found my first-grade baseball photos. My mom apparently bought the complete package of photos of me in my baseball uniform, posed with my red jersey and hat, smiling with the front two teeth missing.

The COMPLETE PACKAGE of photos.

So far, I've found at least three 8x10s, a dozen 5x7s, twenty 4x6s, and like six-hundred or so wallet-sized. What is the scam with wallet-sized? Who would want to carry around a picture of me in my baseball uniform around in their wallet? Maybe my mom? MAYBE? Every box I open in the garage, I find another set of wallet-sized photos.

Why should I order business cards anymore? I think I'll just put my contact information on the back of these photos of first-grade me in my baseball uniform. "Hire me! I write... and play second base!"

-Sigh. So many pictures of me from my childhood have me making a goofy-stupid-smiley face. Not goofy or stupid or smiley - but all three at the same time. It must've been a brutal nightmarish hell being my parents.

As it must be a brutal nightmarish hell being my friend right now. :)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have my pre-school class photos. Time to google some names and see what happened to these people...