Where All the Power Deals are Made

Had lunch last week with Thomas Hart, Charlotte Fullerton, and Nicole Dubuc. As you can see from the picture above, it's important that us cutting-edge Hollywood types are seen taking calls while taking lunch in only the trendiest of places.







In case you're wondering, it's the one in Burbank. Order the meatballs special and tell them Eugene sent you.

I call him Gamblor! And it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

I spent the weekend in Las Vegas with some of my old buddies from San Diego for the annual Can/Am ice hockey tournament. Every year, we use the tournament as an excuse to meet up and catch up on old times. Oh - and there's the whole gambling, drinking, eating, gawking at women, and getting crushed in ice hockey by teams that are WAY better than us.

Played three hockey games in two days - which is amusing considering how out-of-shape I am. The first game was okay. The second game was okay, except for having to put on the sopping wet hockey gear. The third game was brutal - sore back, sore neck, sore legs, sore everything. I'm lucky to be alive.

But back to Vegas. Stayed at the tackiest hotel in the universe - the Excalibur! As my friend Dan puts it, walking into that place is like walking into a "Golf N Stuff" - kitschy in a miniature-golf sort of way. In the room, there was some cheezy tapestry hanging from the wall, the lamps were shaped like torches, and there was a terrible painting in the bathroom that looked like it was painted by one of those late night cable art-school students.

The majority of the trip was spent in my hotel room working on a writing project that was due on Monday. The rest of the trip was spent at the Casino Royale. If you've never been there, Casino Royale is a little hole-in-the-wall place between Harrah's and the Venetian that's become the in-spot for poor young people. Low table minimums, $1 beers, and great alt-pop-80's music - directly adjacent to a Denny's (in case you need a late night Moon over My Hammies).

So something embarrassing happened to me on Saturday night while walking back to the hotel from dinner. I know you'd all love to hear all about it, but I don't care to have it published on the web for everyone to see for all eternity. Besides, embarrassing things that happen in Vegas... most DEFINITELY stay in Vegas.

Plug Plug Plug - Tivo Tivo Tivo

Busy with work and personal business - but I had to get these plugs in.

My second episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles airs this Saturday at 10:30am on 4Kids TV (Fox channel 11 in Los Angeles). The episode is entitled, "The Trouble With Augie" - and I can tell you nothing about it except that it features a lot of April O'Neil, Donatello, and a race of lizard people.

And NOTHING says Saturday morning fun like lizard people.

My friend and fellow animation writer Matt Wilson's episode of Brandy and Mr. Whiskers airs this Friday at 2:30pm on Disney Channel.

I don't know if his episode has any lizard people, but I'm going to assume that it doesn't. You should still watch it - even if it has a disturbing lack of lizard people.

My friend and fellow animation writer Joelle Sellner's episode of Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi airs this Friday at 10pm on Cartoon Network.

I don't know if her episode has any lizard people - but I really hope that someday we all see the episode where Puffy and Yumi meet up with lizard people.

February 2006 Music Diary

No new music this month. Here's what iTunes says I've been listening to-

Pop Goes The Weasel - 3rd Bass
More Than A Feeling - Boston
Shake the Disease - Hooverphonic
Cross To Bear - Vonda Shepherd
Rebel Heart - The Corrs
Take The Rain - R.E.M.
Mustang Sally - Wilson Pickett
Land of 1000 Dances - Wilson Pickett
Three Time Loser - Wilson Pickett
Everybody Needs Somebody to Love - Wilson Pickett

Fond Memories of the XFL

So the Milwaukee Sentinel-Journal mentioned this tidbit about the Winter Olympics broadcasters-

The career profile in the NBC Press Guide for the 2006 Winter Olympics for broadcaster Matt Vasgersian is missing a résumé line about Vasgersian's past work... Not included in the wide-ranging catalog of assignments Vasgersian has had is there any reference to his work as the play-by-play voice of XFL games...

Who cares, right? People leave bad stuff that they don't want to remember off their resume. But I don't get why NBC or Vasgersian left it off. I, for one, have FOND MEMORIES about his work on the XFL.

Matt Vasgersian burst onto the scene in the late 1990s where he was featured in a series of horrifically unfunny ads for 989 Sports Playstation video games. They were so awful, people like myself assumed that he was just a struggling actor playing a made-up broadcaster with a made-up name like "Matt Vasgersian".

Much to our surprise, he turned out to be an actual honest-to-life sports broadcaster. Even more surprising, he was quite good. The past few years, Vasgersian has been the tv voice of the San Diego Padres. I don't watch much baseball, but it was easy to see that he's quite good at it. Smooth delivery, pleasant disposition, knowledgeable, with quick anecdotes and observations.

Now if you never watched the XFL broadcasts with Matt Vasgersian back in 2001.... well, join the crowd. Nobody did, except for a select few of us who found the XFL to be hysterical. The XFL was the attempt to merge professional football and professional wrestling. They invented such awful things as cheerleaders in hot tubs on the sidelines and players putting "HE HATE ME" on the back of their jerseys. One Saturday night for the XFL broadcast, they made Vasgersian lead play-by-play man for the game. Alongside him as his color commentator? None other than pro-wrestler-turned-Minnesota-governor Jesse "the Body" Ventura.

Hilarity ensues.

Vasgersian played it seriously. The cameras rolled and he was the modicum of professionalism sports broadcasting. He explained the game, the match ups, and did it in his smooth delivery. Then it was Ventura's turn to talk.

Jesse Ventura starts SCREAMING at the camera - turning BEET RED SCREAMING, spittle and saliva flying out of his mouth, shaking with anger as he squeezed the microphone, and referring to everyone as "pukes". According to Ventura, anyone who didn't enjoy the XFL was a "puke", anyone who badmouthed the XFL was a "puke", and that the "pukes" didn't understand the XFL.

Now as this is happening, Vasgersian is trying his best to keep a straight face. And God bless him, he's doing it. He's got a smile on his face - and you can only imagine that he was thinking of what he learned in broadcasting school about not using the word "puke" as a plural noun. And as if that wasn't enough, Vasgersian ended up getting FIRED from the XFL broadcasts.

Fortunately, the story has a happy ending. The XFL is long gone, Matt Vasgersian's doing Winter Olympics broadcasts, and he's not appearing in any more awful Playstation ads.

But I'd give anything for him to just lose it one day and start referring to all the Olympic athletes as "pukes".

Olympic Hockey Predictions

Busy with a writing project, so not a lot of time to blog this week. But before the Men's Olympics ice hockey starts in a few hours, I wanted to get my predictions in now.

First off, my Womens' Hockey predictions. Gold to Canada, Silver to U.S.A., and Bronze to... I dunno, Jamaica. Damn. Been a while since someone made a Jamaica/Winter Olympics joke, huh? I miss the 90s. Anyways, I'm predicting Sweden for the Bronze - because it'll be either them or Finland.

Okay - onto the Mens. There are twelve teams in the Mens' tournament - any of the top seven have a shot at winning Gold. Here's what I predict-

#7. Sweden
Surprise, huh? Sweden is considered one of the powerhouses this year. But with Peter Forsberg questionable with a gimpy groin, Markus Naslund at home injured, Matty Norstrom at home injured, and Mats Sundin having a bad year after taking a puck to the face - I think Sweden is vulnerable. In a tournament like this where they'll be playing a lot of games in a short amount of time? I don't think they can do it.

#6. U.S.A.
Even though this is an off-year for them, Team U.S.A. has a great mix of forwards and defensemen to roll out there. But the goaltending.... not so good. Rick DiPietro and Robert Esche are usually pretty solid - but this year, both have been absolutely atrocious. I'll be rooting for Team U.S.A... but I ain't betting my money on them. Maybe Wayne Gretzky's wife will, but not me.

#5. Finland
Like the U.S., Finland has a great line-up of forwards and defensemen. And if they had Mikka Kiprusoff in goal, there's no question in my mind that Finland would be winning a medal. But with Kiprusoff and Kari Lehtonen both out due to injury, Finland had the same problem as Team U.S.A.. Can Antero Nittymaki steal games for them? I wouldn't count on it.

#4. Slovakia
Here's my sleeper pick. Slovakia has so much talent, but they've never gotten the opportunity to really showcase it at the Olympics. They've won at the Hockey World Championships and they have so much offensive firepower on their team, it's almost disgusting. Their problem is in net, where neither Peter Budaj or Jan Lasak are going to get them to a medal stand. But when you've got that much offense, with Zdeno Chara and Lubomir Visnovsky on the blueline? 10-8 wins anyone?

#3. Canada
Blasphemy! Odds-makers have Canada as a 4 to 5 favorite to win Gold. They're stacked at talent at every position. They're the defending gold medal winners. They're Canada, for Cherry's sake! They're also beat-up on the blue line - no Ed Jovanovski, and both Rob Blake and Chris Pronger are gimpy. But most importantly, losing Scott Niedermayer to a knee injury was HUGE - Niedermayer can do everything and his loss is irreplaceable. Up front, some of their star forwards like Martin St. Louis and Jarome Iginla are having terrible years offensively. I think the lack of a veteran leader like Steve Yzerman or Mario Lemieux is really going to hurt Canada. Okay, not hurt them THAT much. Even with all the problems above, they can still win Gold and they're going to take home no worse than Bronze.

#2. Czech Republic
They have the best goalie in the world in Dominik Hasek - along with great forwards and defensemen. Top to bottom, this team has no weaknesses. I think the only thing that could possibly hinder them is that defenseman corps, which is a talented bunch but a little inexperienced at the Olympics.

Which leads me to who I think will win Gold this year.

#1. Russia
I could make all sorts of arguments to support my prediction. How about Ilya Kovalchuk and Alexander Ovechkin out on the ice at the same time? Maybe with Pavel Datsyuk between them? And then if that's not scary enough, imagine the forwards being rolled out after them - Alex Kovalev, Maxim Afinogenov, Alexander Frolov, Victor Kozlov, Evgeni Malkin, that overpaid whats-his-face from the New York Islanders. Of course, Russia's problem is that it has an average defense (comparatively to the other teams in this tournament) and a questionable situation in goal, with Evgeni Nabokov having an awful year this season.

But let's face it. They're DUE.

The Soviet/Russian team won gold in 1964, 1968, 1972, 1976, 1984, 1988, and 1992. They haven't won since. They're DUE. Somewhere, Viktor Tikhonov is re-fi-ing the mortgage on his soul - and Satan (prince of darkness, not Miroslav) is realizing that it's been over a decade since the Russians won gold. There's not a lot of science or analysis involved with my pick for the Gold. I just think this is their year. I have that feeling in my gut that they're going to get revenge for 1998.

Part of the fun of the Olympics is that there are such great stories written. Who can forget 1992 when the Soviet Union, having just broken up, won a gold medal even though their country had no name? Or 1994 when Peter Forsberg turned Corey Hirsch into a postage stamp? Or 1998 when Dominik Hasek stopped every Canadian shoot-out attempt? Or 2002 when Canada ended 50 years of heartbreak by stabbing the Americans in the heart?

Can't wait to see this year's story. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Did He At Least Leave A Note?

Either I'm slowly dying... or I have a cold. Chances are I just have a stupid cold that is keeping me up all night coughing and sneezing and sniffling. But just in case this really is death coming for me, you can stop asking if I left a note. Here it is.

-I won't be going to Wonder Con. Not unless I can somehow pull off a miraculous recovery by tomorrow morning. I was really looking forward to going, but oh well. Wouldn't be cool if I went and somehow died on the dealer's room floor.

-Don't forget to watch Duel Masters 2.0 - this Saturday night at 7pm on Cartoon Network. The episode "Fourscore" was written by yours truly.

-Congratulations to Nicole Dubuc! The Daytime Emmy Award Nominations were announced today and she was nominated for Outstanding Children's Animated Program for her work on ToddWorld. I know it must be an honor just to be nominated, but here's hoping she & ToddWorld win and totally knock the snot outta that mean old Dora the Explorer...

-Thanks to Time Warner Cable. They quietly added the Universal HD channel to my line-up this week - just in time for the Winter Olympics! And you know me - I'm going to be vegging out in front of the television. HIGH DEFINITION ICE DANCING, BAY-BEEEEEEE!

That is - if I'm not dead by the time the Olympics start next week. I don't want to say that my chances of survival aren't good, but Wayne Gretzky's wife just bet $75,000 against the "Eugene will die" spread...

Super Bowl XL

Ok - before I go to bed, I should give you my thoughts on Super Bowl XL. Not the best game ever played, but I was rooting for the Steelers and I was happy with the outcome.

I'm really excited about Hines Ward winning the Super Bowl MVP. One of my favorite players, Hines Ward is one of those best-kept-secret stories - an amazing player with an amazing story, being raised by a Korean single mom who worked three jobs to support him.

And, of course, he's half-Korean. His story has gotten some publicity in Korea. Now that he's won the Super Bowl MVP, Koreans have jumped on the Hines Ward bandwagon - because he's talented, hard-working, humble, smart, inspiring, devoted to his mother. His positive image has really done a lot in breaking down some of the prejudices that Korean culture has traditionally held against mixed-race kids.

Perhaps the best thing about Hines Ward that Koreans love? He's SUCCESSFUL. Because let me tell you, there are some really awful Korean athletes out there. As a Korean-American, I'm sick and tired of having to apologize for Chan-Ho, Byung-Hyun, and Hee-Sop. Finally, a Korean athlete little Korean kids can look up to and be proud of.

Oh yes - one last thing about football. The day before the Super Bowl, they announce the Hall of Fame class. This year, one of the newest members of the Pro Football Hall of Fame is the late Reggie White. White may have been best known for being an amazingly talented defensive end. But to me, he'll forever be the guy who went to the Wisconsin state legislature for a short inspirational talk - that turned into a rambling speech that included some gems as-

...Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home...

...When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch...

I don't want to rip the guy too much, because he died two years ago. But every time they talked about Reggie White this weekend, all I could do was think about whether I have the ability to turn a television into a watch.

Rest in peace, Mr. White. On behalf of the Asian.

Kings: Meet the Players party

When I was a teenager, I was really into meeting the players and getting their autographs. I've got a big thick book of autographed hockey cards - but I'm not really an "autograph" guy anymore. The thought of hanging around outside the Kings practice facility to approach the players and get them to sign something of mine? Meh. I'm too old to be chasing around athletes.

But Saturday, the L.A. Kings held their annual "Meet the Players" party for season ticket holders. Season ticket holders could stand in line and get pictures and autographs from the players. It sounded fun - and there was free food, and any writer will tell you that you never turn down free food. Plus I have something that I really wanted signed - a game-used Jason Labarbera goal stick. So me and the stick and my hockey buddy Wendi headed down to the Home Depot Center to stand in line.

In the two hours it was open for signings, I got nine Kings players to sign the stick - Jason Labarbera, Mike Weaver, Matthieu Garon, George Parros, Aaron Miller, Nathan Dempsey, Joe Corvo, Derek Armstrong, and (last but not least) Pavol Demitra.

So now the autographed hockey stick joins my collection of autographed hockey sticks.... my collection of three, COUNT 'EM, THREE hockey sticks. The first one is a game-issued but unused Kelly Hrudey stick, signed by Hrudey on the blade. No tape on it, but it's one of the pro VIC sticks that he used with the Kings. The second one is a game-used Ziggy Palffy stick that he used when in the Islanders minor-league system with the Utah Grizzlies. It's signed by Palffy and several of his teammates - and my favorite detail is that it's marked #68, his old number with the Islanders before he switched.

I wish I could have more, but really, I can't afford to collect game-used hockey sticks. Plus there's only so much space on the wall to show off stuff like that. Oh yes - one more thing from the Meet the Players party.



The day after this picture was taken with me and Pavol Demitra, ESPN reported that he's not expected to play in the next game due to "flu-like symptoms". I'm no conspiracy theorist, but I came down with a bad cold the day after. So the question is.... did I give the flu to Pavol Demitra? Or did he give it to me?

And if he DID give the flu to me, is there any way I can profit off this? Like put his flu germs up on Ebay or something? I suppose that no one would bid on Demitra's flu germs. But if I could somehow get some of his snot on a kleenex? You KNOW someone would pay for that...

More on Turtles & Duel Masters

Saturday's Turtles episode "Scion of the Shredder" turned out really well. Despite the death of three of the Turtles, fans online seem happy with the way the episode turned out...

The Duel Masters episode also turned out well. If you didn't catch it, a Duel Masters fan on Toonzone posted a couple video clips of their favorite gags. Other than the "cell phone signals" joke, they're gags that I wrote. You can grab them (at least for the next few days) from here.

This Saturday night's Duel Masters episode - Fourscore - was written by me. 7 pm on Cartoon Network - set your Tivos.

Revenge of the In-N-Out Burger Guy

So either somebody narc-ed me out to the guy who made the 100x100 In-N-Out burger - or the over-reaching power of Google has caught me with my pants down again. And seeing how good-naturedly the In-N-Out Burger Guy took my rant at his expense, I want to clarify my stance on the whole "crazy eating stunt" issue.

I apologize for making fun of their stunt. I am fairly certain that Al Qaeda is NOT using their hamburger feat to recruit terrorists.

And I apologize for calling him "American" - seeing as he's actually Canadian. We all know that it's not cool to make fun of the designated driver - as popularized by John Rogers, who has said "Canada is the Designated Driver of North America. The U.S. runs around excitedly blowing things up, while we follow behind with the car keys, shaking our heads."

Will could very easily have returned a snarky rant back at me, but what's the challenge in that? Making fun of me is like hitting home runs in T-Ball. It's so easy to do (I write CARTOONS, for pete's sakes) there's no challenge in it. So I apologize that I'm so easy to make fun of that I robbed him his opportunity to get back at me.

And lastly, I apologize for being so bitter and horribly jealous about his internet fame. Oh sure. I made fun of him for what they did - but for the love of all that's holy, he got his blog posted on a web site for women who dig the "mysteries of Asian men". HOW MONEY IS THAT?!?! I'm an Asian guy, too! What do I have to do to have MY mysteries checked out? Besides be the first one to eat an enormous burger.

So again, I want to thank Will for having a good sense of humor. I want to direct people to his blog.

Unless you're a recruiter for Al Qaeda. Then you should probably go elsewhere.

In closing, seeing as my last rant somehow got in front of the person I was ranting about, I absolutely have to do it again.

Dear God,
Please find some way of getting me mentioned on a web site where women discuss Asian men. I want women discussing my mysteries. Women other than my wife. She's already solved all my mysteries like a freaking Miss Marple. Thanks. Keep up the great work. Your pal, Eugene

Just in case this works, my rants towards Angelina Jolie and Bono are already in the works...

Tomorrow - Watch Eugene

I have officially dubbed this Saturday... HAPPY HAPPY TIVO EUGENE DAY.

At 10:30 am, 4KidsTV/Fox airs my episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. At 7:00 pm, Cartoon Network airs an episode of Duel Masters 2.0 that I did an uncredited rewrite on.

In the hours between, go ahead and watch whatever the heck you want. Because HAPPY HAPPY TIVO EUGENE DAY is all about doing whatever you want.... as long as it involves watching my two shows.

Thanks. I knew I could count on you.

Inquisitive Blog Spam

I hate blog spam. But I had bad blog spam worse. Observe this spam posted on my blog a few days ago-

I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. So please Click Here To Read My Blog [removed link to stock investment website]

INQUISITIVE? Is that supposed to be some sort of COMPLIMENT?!?! Look "keviningals0958259862" - if that IS your real name - your spam got deleted in minutes before anyone could see it. And if your blog is as written with the same adept skill that you write blog spam, I'm afraid I'm not going to click through to your link.

I hope that you don't think I'm less inquisitive for not caring about your investment tips.