Non-Chinese New Year's

Another year is upon us. 2006 is SO 2006 - '07 is the new '06.

I realize that this is the time of year for self-reflection. But I'm a writer, which means my self-reflection is a fairly constant stream of neurotic worrying 12 months throughout the year. The evidence of that is public record on this blog. "Hey, remember the time Eugene thought that he was being called to a meeting to be told he stunk? Or the time he wasted an entire day stressing as he tried to get the perfect two names for his characters? Good times."

So self-reflection is out. That leaves us resolutions, which are going to be big in '07. And believe you me, there are lots of things that I could resolve to be better at.

"I resolve to lose weight."
"I resolve to stop worrying about my weight."
"I resolve to not get cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and all those other things I'm at risk for because I stopped worrying about my weight."
"I resolve to write more."
"I resolve to write that feature screenplay."
"I resolve to rewrite that feature screenplay so that it's presentable."
"I resolve to rewrite that rewrite, then put the words FIRST DRAFT on it because I'm a filthy liar."
"I resolve to stop lying."

I'm just not big on resolutions. They're great for other people who aren't neurotically tearing themselves apart all year long for their perceived shortcomings. But take my word for it - I'm constantly criticizing myself and trying to make myself better all year long.

So at this moment, I should be doing the dual mambo of reflecting fondly on the year past, while looking forward to the year upcoming.

And I am.

Financially, 2006 was a decent year - not great, not a disaster. But in every other way, 2006 was a GREAT year. Personally and professionally, it was a very rewarding year - with highs that were greater than I could've dared to dream. And I enter 2007 with a lot of optimism that this next year will be even better than 2006.

Except for that whole weight & screenplay & compulsive lying thing.

The fact of the matter is that at this moment, I'm equally excited and terrified about 2007. The only thing certain about the year ahead is that it's uncertain. I could be in for the greatest trip of my life... or I could end up overturned on the side of the highway as wild badgers circle my roadkill corpse. Fasten your seat belts for 2007. I'd tell you that the road will be bumpy, but in the immortal words of Doc Brown... "Roads? Where we're going? We don't need roads."

See ya next year.

Is that Farenheit, Celsius, or just Plain Messed Up?

Nothing new here - just enjoying some downtime and staying in from the cold weather. There's something wrong about wind and cold and frost in Southern California.

I'm hoping to get my end-of-the-year blog post done before, oh, perhaps, the end of the year. In the meantime, I'll plug my friend Matt Wayne's project - Hellboy : Sword of Stones is repeating on Cartoon Network this Saturday at 9:30 pm. Check it out. Stay warm.

Orhan Pamuk on Writing

Sometimes I wish I blogged more about writing, but there are just too many other people out there who do it better than I could. This is an excerpt from Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk's 2006 Nobel lecture-

The question we writers are asked most often, the favorite question, is: Why do you write? I write because I have an innate need to write. I write because I can't do normal work as other people do. I write because I want to read books like the ones I write. I write because I am angry at everyone. I write because I love sitting in a room all day writing. I write because I can partake of real life only by changing it. I write because I want others, the whole world, to know what sort of life we lived, and continue to live, in Istanbul, in Turkey. I write because I love the smell of paper, pen, and ink. I write because I believe in literature, in the art of the novel, more than I believe in anything else. I write because it is a habit, a passion. I write because I am afraid of being forgotten. I write because I like the glory and interest that writing brings. I write to be alone. Perhaps I write because I hope to understand why I am so very, very angry at everyone. I write because I like to be read. I write because once I have begun a novel, an essay, a page I want to finish it. I write because everyone expects me to write. I write because I have a childish belief in the immortality of libraries, and in the way my books sit on the shelf. I write because it is exciting to turn all life's beauties and riches into words. I write not to tell a story but to compose a story. I write because I wish to escape from the foreboding that there is a place I must go but—as in a dream—can't quite get to. I write because I have never managed to be happy. I write to be happy.

Pamuk's lecture delves into many other aspects of writing - a long, but amazing read. The entire lecture is in the current issue of the New Yorker, and you can read it online at The New Yorker site or at the Nobel site.

It's a Wonderful Life

I haven't sat down and watched the entire movie from beginning to end in a while, but I caught a small bit of "It's a Wonderful Life" on television tonight. Lucky for me - it was my FAVORITE part of the movie.

George Bailey has just been shown what life would've been like without him. And when confronted with the shocking images of his house in ruins, his city taken over by Mr. Potter, his friends not knowing him, his brother's grave... he's unhappy, as you'd expect him to be.

But what's the thing that sets him off? What's the ONE THING that drives him over the edge?

His wife as a librarian.

"Oh no! My wife Mary! She's... she's.... A NERD!"

That's right. He then proceeds to flip out (and punch a cop) only after confronted by the harsh image of his wife as an old maid librarian. With glasses.

WITH GLASSES.

I'm probably just missing the point of the movie. But the idea of Donna Reed being the hottest librarian of all time wouldn't send me into a rage. It'd probably just send me to the library more often.

And on that awful awful note, Merry Christmas everybody! May all your angels have wings, and may all your librarians be nerds...

The Russian

So I can blog about going to the Kings game last night. They lost. Again. It was ugly. Really ugly. I can blog about this frequent unhappy event. Or I can blog about something happy.

Like the Russian.

Towards the end of last season, there was a lone guy who sat in the back row of Section 313 at Staples Center. The accented guy would get drunk, then try to get the crowd to chant with him. Soccer-style chants that would barely make sense. Such as-

"We... Need... A Goals! We... Need... A Goals!"
"los-AN-guh-LES! (clapclap - clapclap) los-AN-guh-LES! (clapclap - clapclap)"

And the most confusing one-

"This is our city!
This is our town!
No one's going to beat us!
And we're gonna win!"

As you can see, the chants aren't catchy and they're horribly awkward. He'd start his chant, everyone in earshot would look at each other and try to figure out what he was saying, and then laugh.

But through pure force of his personality, the guy show developed a following of loyal fans in that part of the arena. At games when he's there, people always egg him on to start his crazy chants, then join him in some good spirited chanting. You can see him in the back row of Section 313 - either leading chants or trying to hit on a fine lady.

Anyways, I just have to give some props to the Russian. I can blog about how bad the hockey is on the ice... or blog about how funny the drunken chants are off the ice. I much prefer the latter.

Go Kings go.

SNL: A Special Christmas Box

If you didn't catch Saturday Night Live this week, you missed this bit of brilliantly twisted and wrong genius.

Go to the NBC site then click on the featured video, "A Special Christmas Box". Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake play the singers - the ladies are played by Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig. Thankfully, NBC's incompetent IT department decided to upload this one to the net.

Twisted and wrong. Enjoy!

December 2006 Music Diary

The new music I've been listening to this month - Jay-Z and the Foo Fighters - will get listed next month. This is the month for Christmas tunes.

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
Green Christmas - Barenaked Ladies
Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
Last Christmas - Jimmy Eat World
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Coldplay
Do They Know Its Christmas - Pete Yorn
Hey Parker, It's Christmas - Ryan Adams
Christmas Is All Around - Billy Mack (from Love Actually)
White Christmas - Otis Reading
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Olivia Olson (from Love Actually)
Chipmunk Christmas - John Scofield (from A Blue Note Xmas)
O Tannenbaum
What Child Is This
My Little Drum
Linus and Lucy
Christmas Time Is Here (Instrumental)
Christmas Time Is Here (Vocal)
Skating
Hark the Herald Angel Sings
Christmas Is Coming
Fur Elise
The Christmas Song
Greensleeves - Vince Guaraldi Trio (from A Charlie Brown Christmas)

Oh yes - and I've avoided listening to the worst Christmas track of all time. Someone once gave me the track of Celine Dion's cover of Feliz Navidad. I kid you not - and yes, it's not good.

Feelings on Last Night's Hockey Game

Here's the approximate timeline of what I experienced:

9:40pm - Arrive at Pickwick for ice hockey game. Walk into dressing room just as teammates discuss care and feeding of gerbils. Learn way more about gerbils than I ever wanted to know.

10:05pm - Step out onto the ice.

10:10pm - Strange queasy feeling in stomach. Not the usual I'm fat and out of shape and can't skate queasy feeling. A different queasy feeling.

10:11pm - Identify the queasiness. Realize I shouldn't have had cheese with my dinner. Curse you and your melted deliciousness, cheese!

10:25pm - First period ends. I get a second assist on the second goal - first point in two months. Feeling good.

10:35pm - Receive a beautiful pass in the slot. Instead of firing it right away with my heavy slap shot, I take an extra step closer to the goalie - then rip a wrist shot... right into the goalie's chest.

10:36pm - Hear taunting and name-calling for my poor effort, followed by laughter. As I skate back to the bench, realize it's coming from my teammates - who are giving me some good-natured ribbing at how badly I messed up. Feeling embarrassed.

10:45pm - Have a great chance to score in the slot. This time, fire right off the pass - goalie makes a great kick save. I grab the rebound and have the goalie out of position. Fire a second shot aimed for the top corner... goalie lunges and gets his glove on it.

10:46pm - Laughter from my bench again. Feeling snakebitten.

10:50pm - A 2-on-2 rush. I make a nifty pass to my left, then drive hard to the net. My teammate will fire the shot - I'll try to screen the goalie and maybe grab the rebound. My teammate fires a huge slapshot... directly into the back of my right leg. There's no protective padding on the back of the legs.

10:51pm - Fall down, grab right calf, and think happy thoughts. Feeling... not so good.

10:55pm - Leg pain replaced by leg numb. Try playing again. Avoid front of net - don't want to get anywhere near any place where I could get hit again.

11:00pm - Receive a great pass through the neutral zone. I'm 1-on-3 again, but I make a nifty move and drop a no-look drop pass to my teammate... As soon as I let go of the puck, my mind thinks, NOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo!. Fortunately, my teammate's slapshot misses the back of my leg. Feeling stupid.

11:05pm - Game over. We win a rare game, 4-1. My team's goalie taunts me with, "Dude. If you make a play and you take a puck off the back of your leg.... DON'T DO IT AGAIN!"

11:10pm - Remove shin pad off my right leg. Calf muscle has tightened up. Still hurts.

11:15pm - Team cooler is filled with beer and soda. I grab a soda.

11:16pm - Regret drinking soda. Not a good thing for stomach after strenuous exercise. Feeling carbonated.

11:40pm - Arrive home. Collapse. Feeling like it's not long until I die on the ice.

Great Sports Injuries

From the Detroit Free Press

Guitar video game hurt Zumaya's arm
The Tigers are satisfied they won't see a recurrence of the right wrist and forearm inflammation that sidelined Joel Zumaya for three games of the American League Championship Series.

...the team had concluded Zumaya's injury resulted from playing [Guitar Hero], not from his powerful throwing motion.

In the rankings of greatest baseball injuries ever, this ranks second only to Marty Cordova - the player who fell asleep in a tanning booth and had to miss several games because of his injuries.

Can't believe Zumaya can throw a fastball 100 mph... but can't rock the Playstation.

Eugene learns to Fight the Power

I know I'm not supposed to get too excited or worked up about meeting celebrities - but this one was just too cool.



Tuesday, Public Enemy had an appearance at Golden Apple Comics to promote their new comic book. I headed down there and met up with fellow writer Kent Redeker.

Then Chuck D arrived. He came in through the same entrance as the autograph seekers, took a picture of the crowd with his own digital camera, and stuck around signing autographs and chatting with everyone. Chuck D was awesome - an incredible guy.

We were hoping Flava Flav would show, but he didn't. You think he overslept? Better question - do you think it's even POSSIBLE for him to oversleep with an alarm clock hanging from his neck?

Holiday Parties 2006... CHECK

Sorry for the lack of updates. As you might have guessed, the last few days have been hectic. I'm starting work on another freelance script assignment at the moment, along with the various holiday-related errands and duties.

Thankfully, my holiday party season is now over. Here's the recap.

Friday - The Animation Guild (TAG) Holiday Party. At Pickwick Gardens, it was a huge room with tons of animation professionals, but I think I knew 10 people, tops. Did meet a very cool woman from the production team of one of the Cartoon Network shows I wrote for. The food line was ridiculously long (due to some error, they only had one line working) - so me and two friends went next door to the Pickwick Ice Rink snack shop and ate there instead.

Then in the middle of the party, I went next door to the Ice Rink to play hockey. I use the term "play" loosely - we ended up getting destroyed 11-6.

Saturday - Matt Wayne's birthday party celebrated over hummus and tabouli. Happy Birthday, Matt - congrats on turning 21. Later that night, went to Kent & Amy's annual holiday party.

Sunday - Went to my friend's Christmas Cookie party. Stuffed myself on cookies, then went into their living room... where there were MORE cookies. Seriously - wall to wall cookies.

Sunday night - The Writers Guild Holiday Party at Memphis in Hollywood, which is an amazing old mansion that got turned into a restaurant. The place was jam packed, so they had to set up more tables outside where it was cold and rainy. Long lines for food, drinks, bathrooms, etc - they even started running out of plates and forks.

The story behind the mess was that the WGA got as many RSVPs for this year's party as last year's party - and last year's party had a 50% no-show rate. So they planned accordingly for a small crowd, especially with the bad weather. Instead, they had something like a 5% no-show rate - and the massive crowd that ensued. Leave it to us writers to be unreliable when it comes to the art of the RSVP.

Still, the WGA party was fun, only because it's one of the few times a year where an animation writer gets to throw down food and drink with writers from film, primetime television, news, and reality shows in one big room.

Tuesday - The Gotham Group "Wrap" Party. Instead of presents for all their clients, the past few years, Gotham has spent the money on gifts for needy families - then invite their clients to help wrap presents. Great time, except for trying to remember the names of all the assistants (and there are a LOT of them). A lot of champagne and donuts flowing.

Afterwards, had dinner with Nicole Dubuc, Dwayne McDuffie, Charlotte Fullerton, and Alexx Van Dyne. Dwayne was telling us how everything he says gets repeated verbatim on the internet. Oh - and he said the only reason he hasn't killed me is because Charlotte told him not to. I figure the best way to protect myself is to have what he said repeated verbatim on the internet...


Now I just have to get back to work. Oh, and I still need to finish my Christmas Card list. I really need to stop meeting people, so this list doesn't get any bigger than it already is.

One Word Survey

Gina sent this to us. I never participate in these things, but since I'm procrastinating, now I'm going to fill it out.

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not As Easy As You Might Think...

1. Yourself.
goofy

2. Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
smart

3. Your Hair:
thick

4. Your Mother:
deceased

5. Your Father:
moron

6. Your Favorite Item:
computer

7. Your Dream Last Night:
animated

8. Your Favorite Drink:
caffeinated

9. Your Dream Car:
LexusIS

10. The Room You Are In:
office

11. Your Ex:
happier

12. Your Fears:
constant

13. What Do You Want To Be In 10 Years:
alive

14. Who You Hung Out With Last Night:
writers

15. What You're Not:
temperamental

16. Muffins:
bagels

17: One of Your Christmas Wish List Items:
stratocaster

18. If U Could Have One Wish:
peace

19. The Last Thing You Did:
errands

20. What You Are Wearing:
t-shirt

21. Your Favorite Weather:
mild

22. Your Favorite Book:
Woody

23. The Last Thing You Ate:
leftovers

24. Your Life Is:
blessed

25. Your Mood:
upbeat

26. Your Friends:
invaluable

27. What Are You Thinking About Right Now:
script

28. Your Truck:
non-existent

29. What Are You Doing At The Moment:
phone

30. Your Summer:
Comic-Con

31. Your Relationship Status:
married

32. What Is On Your TV:
cartoons

33. When Is The Last Time You Laughed?
now

34. Last Time You Cried:
dunno

Repost This As One. Word. Survey.

Recap: The Animation Writers Caucus Annual Reception

Last night was the WGAw's Animation Writer's Caucus Annual Reception. Here's the recap.

No chocolate fountain.

I repeat, NO CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. Oh sure, there was a Q&A with WGA president Patric Verrone and Director of Organizing Jeff Hermanson, along with brownies so rich that they vote Republican - but there was no chocolate fountain.

Despite the lack of flowing melted chocolate, the event was a great chance to catch up with animation writers, some of whom I'll name drop here - Amy Wolfram, Andrew Robinson, Bob Skir, Brooks Wachtel, Catherine Lieuwen, Charlotte Fullerton, Craig Miller, Dean Stefan, Doug Molitor, Dwayne McDuffie, Francis Moss, Gordon Bressack, Jack Monaco, Joelle Sellner, Larry Caroll, Larry Ditillo, Len Wein, Mark Evanier, Marty Isenberg, Marv Wolfman, Matt Wayne, Melody Fox, Michael Ryan, Nicole Dubuc, Stan Berkowitz, Steve Melching, Steven Goldman.

One holiday party down - a few more to go...

ATOM #207 - "Camping with the Enemy"

My second A.T.O.M. episode aired in Europe a few months ago and hopefully it'll air in the United States sometime soon. In the meantime, I just got to see the episode online. [note - At this very moment, it's online in three parts. Don't know how long that link will be up.]

Like everything anyone ever writes, there's stuff there that I love - and there's stuff that makes me cringe and wonder if I shouldn't take up a new line of work selling pencils or something.

But I think the original script was one of the best things I've ever written - and I think the story editors, director, animators, actors, and everybody really outdid themselves in bringing it to life.

A few behind-the-scenes trivia for you-

-The first minute setting up the situation wasn't written by me - my script started out with them driving to the park. Also, the last visual gag at the end of the script wasn't me. I think those're the only two changes from the script that I turned in.

-There was a running gag with Shark packing too much stuff on the camping trip that got cut for time purposes. He was supposed to be struggling all episode long with having brought multiple backpacks and extraneous stuff. You can see hints of it remaining in the episode - such as why he brought two rafts on the trip.

-I got a GREAT note about the cougar. My story editors (bless them!) shared the note with me, where someone was worried that our heroes might be seen as anti-mountain lion and wanted it made clear that our heroes were "pro-mountain lion".

-The high-tech weapon that Axel uses was given to us to use and was described as "the boxing arm". However, the boxing arm didn't actually do any boxing - it shoots a laser. So why call it a BOXING arm? My story editors and I ended up dubbing the weapon the BATDAB - Boxing Arm That Doesn't Actually Box.

-My favorite scene is the exchange between King and Lioness at the beginning of Act 3. It's one of those scenes where, as I wrote it, I knew there was a really good chance that it'd get cut. There's no action, there're no jokes, it's just two people talking - a character baring his soul isn't going to sell any toys. I was so GEEKED that the scene stayed. If I meet the director, I'm giving him a big hug.

Plugs! (not hair plugs, but the GOOD kind of plugs)

Shows you should be checking out-

-The MyNetwork telenovela series, Wicked, Wicked Games, premieres on Channel 13 in Los Angeles this Wednesday at 8pm. Dani Wolff is one of the show's writers, and she promises lots of slapping, catfights, and revenge.

-Big shout out to Simon Racioppa and Richard Elliot. Their most recent show is Mr. Meaty, a really OUT THERE comedy about puppets that work in fast food. It airs weekdays on Nickelodeon - check it out.

-I totally forgot to plug Charlotte Fullerton's latest episode of Tutenstein (sorry!). Another of her episodes, Rest in Pieces, airs on Discovery Kids next Saturday, December 16th at 7pm.

-New episodes of Ben 10 are premiering on Cartoon Network. New episodes of The Replacements are airing on Disney Channel.

I hope I'm not forgetting anybody. If I have, feel free to plug your project in the comments...

Christmas Story

I only have a handful of stories about my life that people actually like to hear. This is one of them.

Christmas time. I think I was six years old and I was in the big Korean church Christmas play. It was a telling of the Nativity story and I was in the very first scene - I was a SHEEP out in the fields on Christmas Eve. Me and the other little girl actress were to read our page of dialogue - stuff like, "Wow, I've never seen that star before." "It shines so brightly above Bethlehem." I memorized my lines, my mom sewed a puffy white costume for me, and voila - I was a sheep.

The dress rehearsal went well. We read our lines, then exited stage right. No problems.

Then came the actual performance that night. The play began - me and the other little girl took the stage. The lights were really bright and the church hall was packed - hundreds of people looking back at me. We each delivered our lines and our scene went flawlessly. After we finished, I exited stage right.

Or at least... I TRIED TO.

Unlike at dress rehearsal, there was an elderly Korean woman at the stage right exit. And she was whispering and motioning at me, "No! Go the other way!"

So I stopped in my tracks and did what she told me to - I turned around, walked back to the other side of the stage, and tried to exit stage left. The other sheep followed me. The next scene started, the wise men actors set up and started their lines, but behind them, two kids in sheep costumes crossed the stage.

I reached the stage left exit. At this door, there was a Korean man in a suit with glasses. He whispered loudly and motioned, "No! Not this way! Go the other way!"

So I stopped, turned around, and walked back across stage right. The scene continued and I finally reached stage right... where the old Korean woman whispered loudly and pointed, "No! Not this way! You have to go out the other way!"

So I stopped, turned around, and headed back stage left. I seem to have a vague recollection of it being a scene with Herod and three wise men talking about the birth of Jesus. But if you were in the audience that night, you didn't see that scene. You were too busy watching the two sheep walking back and forth across the stage. Oh yes - two sheep. The little girl followed me back and forth, as if somehow *I* knew where we were supposed to go.

As you can predict, I reached stage left and the Korean man yelled at me to go the other way. So I dutifully stopped, turned around, and crossed back across the stage towards the exit stage right. Before I even got there, I could see the elderly Korean woman pointing me in the opposite direction.

I turned around and headed back stage left again. At this point, someone in the audience (maybe my Dad or Uncle? maybe the other sheep's relative?) shouted out loudly, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I looked out at the audience and shrugged - arms out like, "I don't know! Somebody help me!" The audience ROARED with laughter.

I reached stage left - and the Korean man was very adamant that we couldn't exit this way. So I turned around and headed back stage right. The play was continuing... and the Eugene sheep from the first scene was still looking for a way off the stage. Looking back now, I wonder where the other actors were entering and exiting the stage?

I also wonder why some grown-up didn't just run out there pretending to be a shepherd, then drag me away to be slaughtered into a lamb chop.

After a few more times back and forth through what seemed like the entire nativity story, I reached stage right, and the elderly Korean woman said, "Come on!" and waved me over. FINALLY, I was off stage. I don't remember much else about that night except being in that tiny room stage right and wondering... Why didn't that old lady let me exit here in the first place? Like we practiced?"

Over the years that I've told this story, people have different theories as to why she wouldn't deign to let me use her stage right exit. One good theory is that she wasn't whispering and motioning at me, but she was trying to get someone else's attention. The other theory is that there was some power struggle going on between the two stage exits and each one had to be right. Maybe she just wanted to show me that I was not cut out to be an actor. Or maybe I just a dumb kid that night.

Anyways, that's my Christmas story. I'd like to think that my experience led to the funniest Nativity play ever. And it taught me a valuable life lesson that I still use today...

Whenever you're in trouble, just shrug and throw your arms like, "I don't know! Somebody help me!" People won't help you, but they'll laugh - and in the end, that's what really matters.

Happy Holidays everybody!