The Hockey Finals

With the Ottawa Senators in the NHL Stanley Cup finals against the Anaheim Ducks, we offer a brief interview with writer Eugene Son, who is the self-proclaimed biggest Ottawa Senators fan on the planet.

Q: Hello, Eugene.
A: Hello there! Go Sens!

Q: Tell us. How big a fan are you of the Ottawa Senators?
A: Huge. Huge doesn't even describe it. I bleed black, red, and, um, whatever other color the Senators are. If they have any other colors. White, I guess.

Q: Has it been an exciting year to be a Sens fan?
A: You know, it's been such an exciting year, it just kinda flew by without me having any memories or any recollections of how the regular season went.

Q: Have you ever been to Ottawa to see a game?
A: I can't say that I've ever been to Canada. Nor can I say that I could identify Canada on a map. But that doesn't stop me from cheering on my Sens.

Q: So you own some Ottawa jerseys, I assume?
A: No. But I've meaning to eventually someday think of maybe getting one.

Q: Who on the team is your favorite player?
A: Oh, there're too many to choose just one.

Q: Pick one.
A: That's okay. I'd rather not.

Q: Just pick a player.
A: And hurt the feelings of the other players? I couldn't live with myself.

Q: What do you think of the play of their big ASH line - Alfredsson, Spezza, and Heatley?
A: They're awesome. I love Alfred, Spitz, and, uh, um, the last one. Heder. Loved him in Napoleon Dynamite.

Q: Heatley.
A: Right. That guy. He's great.

Q: What would the Senators winning a Stanley Cup mean to you?
A: .... Oh, yeah, Senators. Yeah, that'd be great. I'd be... um, what's that word? Yeah, happy.

Q: How long have you been a Senators fan?
A: A long time. Too long to remember.

Q: How long?
A: About a week. Since the very millisecond that the Anaheim Mighty Ducks entered the finals four games away from winning the Stanley Cup, thus forever earning bragging rights over the Los Angeles Kings.

Q: So let me get this straight. You're only rooting for Ottawa because if the Ducks win a Stanley Cup, it's going to embarrass you as a Los Angeles Kings fan?
A: Go Sens.

Q: Wouldn't it be more mature to just accept that the sports team that plays in the arena closest to you just isn't as good as the other team? And perhaps maybe just enjoy good hockey for good hockey's sake? Wouldn't a real hockey fan just enjoy the spectacle and excitement that is playoff hockey?
A: Please Go Sens.

Let's Review Europe

So later this summer, I'm leaving on a vacation. I've never been to Europe before and this is the first time I've left the country in over a decade, so I'm really looking forward to it. I'm spending way too much money on this whirlwind trip, but I know it's going to be one of the best experiences of my life.

[Cue "Eugene gets ironic comeuppance" here - maybe in the "airline loses luggage" or "gets pickpocketed multiple times" or "catches incurable disease" categories]

Anyways, before I book hotel rooms, I've been researching hotel reviews at TripAdvisor.com. But part of researching hotels is to know how to filter out the stupid reviews. The reviews where it's not really the hotel room with the problem, but the person who stayed there.

And really, some of these reviews are so bad, they make me want to renounce my American citizenship and maybe try to gain citizenship in, I dunno, Greenland or something. Someplace where people don't leave reviews about Italian hotels like these-

The hotel was on this horrible cobblestone street. It was incredibly annoying having to walk up and down these jagged streets. I complained to the manager, but he didn't seem to care.

Can you imagine what that poor hotel manager was thinking when someone complains that the ANCIENT ROMANS could've done a better job when they built those cobblestone streets. "You know, we've been meaning to do something about those ancient streets. We've been busy and just haven't gotten around to it... in the past 2000 years." As my friend said, this is the type of person who should visit Las Vegas - not Italy.

This one is a common complaint-

The hotel only had one English-language television channel. Very disappointing.

They go to Italy, then get annoyed that they DARE DEIGN to have their television in Italian. Forget Iraq, we should go to war with Italy to get this grave injustice fixed. One good troop surge and we'll have FuseTV's Pants Off Dance Off in Italy for all to enjoy in English.

This person is a wimp-

I found a spider in our room. I went to complain to the manager, but he was less than sympathetic.

Cause we all know that a close-call with a spider is one of the most traumatic things someone can ever experience. Maybe this'll be my ironic comeuppance.

This one made me laugh pretty hard-

The hotel housekeeping staff didn't speak English. I tried to ask for extra towels and pillows, but not a single one of the maids spoke English. It ruined my trip.

I wonder what kind of fantasy world this person lives in, where they expect the maids to be multi-lingual? Good luck finding a hotel housekeeping staff in AMERICA that speaks ENGLISH - let alone in ITALY.

In all seriousness, these people don't deserve to travel the world. With people like this visiting their countries, it's a wonder Europeans will even let us anywhere near their borders. I fear for the safety of Rick Steves.

Anyways, if you've been to Europe and have any tips, please let me know. Don't warn me about the spiders - I heard about them already.

Links of the non-sausage variety

Okay, while I get some work done, three things for ya to click on and enjoy.

A Day with the Halo 3 Beta Multiplayer

A short film by my buddy Dan Santat - children's book writer/illustrator and creator of Disney's The Replacements. He made it to taunt a friend of his who's a huge Halo fan. Kinda strong language ahead.

Skinhead Hamlet

A short play by writer-deity Richard Curtis - writer of such amazing films as Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill, and Love Actually. This was originally published in The Faber Book of Parodies . Very strong language ahead.

How many guys in Spider-Man suits can fit inside Jamba Juice

A bit from the David Letterman show. Found this on Mark Evanier's blog.

it's over

Dead quiet in the jury room. Everyone sat around reading their newspapers or books, listening to their iPods, or texting on their phones. The television sets were all turned off. You could hear a pin drop.

We were all bored out of our minds.

Then the guy gets up on the P.A. and announces that the remaining court cases have been filled for the day, so we've fulfilled our jury duty service for the year.

I've never SEEN a celebration erupt like this before. It was like V-J Day in New York City at the end of World War 2. Cheering, applauding, hugging, tears of joy streaming down the faces of those who'd lost so much and demanded so little.



It was like that. Only more emotional. I immediately headed home and fell asleep. Never ever EVER mix a lack of sleep with boredom. It's not fun.

Lastly, I have to share this with you. This is on the wall in the Jury Room at the Van Nuys Courthouse.



Jerry Bruckheimer. Is. A. Juror.

I love Los Angeles.

bored...

Back in the jury room. They made us stand around for half an hour before they announced that the case had been settled.

The good news is that I'm not on a jury. The bad news is that they could still call me. Five hours left to go.

I only got 4 hours of sleep last night. It's really starting to hit me how tired I am. Maybe I can convince them to excuse me because I'm narcoleptic? I might try it. Maybe it'll zzzzzzzzzz...

I object

Greetings from jury duty. They have more security at this courthouse than at the airport. Makes sense, though. They have to confiscate the weapons, or else all the prospective jurors would KILL OURSELVES FROM BOREDOM.

First they had some judge walk in and tell us all about how awesome we all were for doing our civic duty. He looked like a nerdy cross between Peter Bogdanovich and a bridge troll. Then they showed us a horrible video about the virtues of jury duty and what it entails. I kept myself entertained for a few minutes by playing a game I call, "Educational Video Ethnic Bingo." You pick five ethnicities, minorities, or groups - then wait and see if one shows up in the video for diversity's sake. If you get five, you shout out, "Educational Video Ethnic Bingo!" I got Asian, elderly, Hispanic, and gay/lesbian (maybe - I have poor gaydar, but that haircut on a woman? It counts.). I missed out on bingo because there was no amputee or wheelchair disabled person.

There were about 150 people in the jury room, then they called the first 50 or so for the first group. I was hoping not to have my name called. The suspense didn't last long - I was the THIRD PERSON CALLED.

Then all of us got herded like sheep to the hallway outside the courtroom. I half expected some big Aussie or Scotsman to be waiting for us with a razor. BAA!

More about how I hate jury duty later.

sigh...

Blogging this on my phone using sprint's cellular network, because my time warner digital cable is down. Woo - money well spent.

And it gets worse. Monday morning I have to show up for jury duty. Sure, the odds are that I won't get picked. But if I were a judge and some animation writer walked into my court? I'd immediately put him on the longest case I had.

Then again, maybe I'm just being extra dour. And why not? My internet connection is down and I'm blogging this on a treo keyboard about the size of a smurf's kidney.

Stupid jury duty.

Storm Hawks

Cancel your vacations! Cash out your 401ks! Repent! And most importantly, SET YOUR TIVOS!



Storm Hawks! Created by Ace Fipke, it's the new animated series from Nerd Corps. The head writer is the amazing Rob (Teen Titans, Legion of Super Heroes) Hoegee - the talented writing staff includes Matt Wayne, Amy Wolfram, Richard Elliot & Simon Racioppa, Scott Sonneborn, Alexx Van Dyne, Paul Giacoppo, Eric Hayden, and more.

The two-part pilot premieres on Cartoon Network next Friday, and repeats through the weekend.

Friday, May 25th - 7:30pm
Saturday, May 26th - 10:30am
Sunday, May 27th - 7:30pm

Then the series airs weekly Monday through Friday starting June 4th at 7pm. You can check out previews of the show at stormhawks.com.

Make sure to check it out. The first of my episodes should air sometime in June - if I'm not feeling lazy, I'll let you know when they air.

May 2007 Music Diary

Here's what iTunes says I'm listening to this month-

Closer - Travis
3 Times and You Lose - Travis
Selfish Jean - Travis
Sleepless - Until June
What I've Done - Until June
You Do - Until June
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
First Time - Lifehouse
I Tried - Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
Wasted Little DJ's - The View
Earth Intruders (Extended Mark "Spike" Stent Mix) - Bjork
All Is Full of Love - Bjork
Magnolia Soul - Ozomatli
We All Want the Same Thing - Kevin Michael
Sister Rosetta (Capture the Spirit) - Noisettes
The Weakest Shade of Blue - The Pernice Brothers

Two new albums I've been listening to. Travis is a great band, and their new album might be their best.

The other is Until June, which I discovered because I was laughing at their album cover in the iTunes music store. Seriously - it's a TERRIBLE album cover. It looks like Eric Cartman's "Faith Plus One" album cover, with three guys standing on the beach looking too cool to be on an album cover. Despite the terrible cover, I listened to the songs and got hooked.

Maroon 5 is always good for one catchy-until-its-burned-into-your-soul song per album. Ditto with Lifehouse. These might be those tunes.

I'm happy to see Bone Thugs back. Their new song isn't one of their best, but it's still good. Found the View on iTunes by accident - fun track.

I've always liked Bjork, but I've never been a huge Bjork guy. On first listen, I thought her new Earth Intruders track was the most bizarre thing I'd ever heard. Then again, I think that of EVERY Bjork track I ever hear.

And seeing her on SNL reminded me of my second favorite Bjork video ever - the Chris Cunningham directed video for All is Full of Love.

This is the time of the month when I rave about the iTunes free download. Ozomatli, Kevin Michael, and the Noisettes - all great stuff.

This is the time of the month when I rave about Pandora.com. This month, they introduced me to the Pernice Brothers.

Nothing says COMEDY like Fake Gunmen

Still working like crazy and really behind schedule, but this had to be shared. Perhaps my favorite news story ever.

Teachers stage fake gunman attack on sixth graders
MURFREESBORO, Tennessee (AP) -- Staff members of an elementary school staged a fictitious gun attack on students during a class trip, telling them it was not a drill as the children cried and hid under tables.

Oh man. If something as crazy as this can happen in a place like "Murfreesboro", it can happen anywhere.

Some parents said they were upset by the staff's poor judgment in light of the April 16 shootings at Virginia Tech that left 33 students and professors dead, including the gunman.

Ya think?

During the last night of the trip, staff members convinced the 69 students that there was a gunman on the loose. They were told to lie on the floor or hide underneath tables and stay quiet. A teacher, disguised in a hooded sweat shirt, even pulled on a locked door.

After the lights went out, about 20 kids started to cry... "I was like, 'Oh My God,' " she said. "At first I thought I was going to die. We flipped out."

AWE... SOME... Because nothing shows the good judgement of the adults you trust your children to every day... then to have them disguise themselves in hooded sweatshirts and act as if they're going to murder your children.

And sure, this could be a reflection of our society. Somehow representative of things gone bad, in terms of guns or violence or mental health or just basic human decency. Perhaps we can learn from this incident. Perhaps from this awful happening we can draw something useful and good. Maybe make the world a better place.

It's obvious to me, anyways, that there's one easy way to fix this. To keep our kids safe, to keep our teachers straight, and to make the world a better place? We need these people in our schools.



You think Officer Dustin Nguyen or Officer Peter DeLuise would've been crying on the floor? You think Officer Holly Robinson would've flipped out? You think Officer Richard Grieco would've let the teachers get away with any of this? HECK NO. Hunky Officer Johnny Depp would've keel-hauled the teacher and his stupid hooded sweat shirt! ARRR!

Oh sure. Putting good-looking young undercover police officers in all our schools may be difficult. It may be expensive. It may even be impossible and humanly unfeasible. But it needs to be done.

For the children. And the hooded sweat shirt-wearing teachers who want to pretend hurt them.

Ouch (The Update from the Dojo)

Since people like to hear about how it's going, here're more tales from the dojo.

So I'm still doing my martial arts twice a week. Very hard, but very fun. The beginning class is over and all of us have graduated to the normal class. The hardest part of the class was dealing with blisters and with my, um, "injury" - but I've learned to deal with all that. Believe it or not, the biggest problem I'm having is with sitting.

The Japanese have this way of sitting called "seiza"... and I'm convinced it's the most painful thing ever invented. It's like torture. We're supposed to practice the position so that we can handle it, but holy cow, this is one really painful way of sitting.

And if I'm in agony from sitting down, you can only imagine what the rest of martial arts is doing to me.

Lemme update you on my classmates. Likes to Hit Stuff Guy is coming once a week. He's a very nice guy. He just... likes to hit stuff. He always arrives late, gets in one intense work-out, and then leaves early. Just imagine a guy who shows up to get his minimum required amount of hitting in.

The .08 guy with coordination so bad it looks like he's drunk? Well, he's better than me now. It's kinda annoying, since he and I started at the same time, but it's obvious that he's way better at it than me now. Oh well. He may be able to whup me, but I can still walk in a straight line better than he can.

There's also the girl. A very attractive girl who's elevated to SMOKING HOT status because she can kick my @#$. It's a strange phenomenon that I can't explain, but for some reason, it's really hot when a girl can kick your @#$. Can't explain why, but it's true.

One last story. One of the senseis just turned 86 years-old. I volunteered to buy the vanilla cake for the occasion, but at the store, they only had one vanilla cake... a HELLO KITTY cake. Now consider my dilemma. Do I really want to bring an 86 year-old Japanese man a Hello Kitty cake? Fortunately, I was able to pop the Hello Kitty graphic off the cake.

Later on, people told me I should've left Hello Kitty on the cake. Oh sure, it would've been hilarious to give an 86 year-old sensei a Hello Kitty cake. But it also could've gotten me a beating. Or WORSE - they would've nicknamed me Hello Kitty and I'd have to deal with that forever.

"Let's spar, Hello Kitty!" "Good hit, Hello Kitty!" "Arigato Gozaimashita, Hello Kitty!"

Oh yeah - and when holding the cake for the sensei to blow the candles out, I almost dropped the cake. Shows you what kind of coordination I have for martial arts.

Okay - enough procrastination. Better get back to work. Don't expect any updates for the next few days. And have a great Mother's Day!

This? Is "news"?

Sorry about the lack of blog updates. Nothing's been going on. Actually, that's not true. Lots going on right now - just nothing that I thought worth blogging about. But hey, it's like when CNN does an expose on "Computer crashes - COULD IT HAPPEN TO YOU?" It's not really news, but when you've got nothing else, you have to just broaden your definition of "news".

So here's some "news".

Work is busy and going well. One of the shows I've been writing on premieres on Cartoon Network later month - I'll let you know when that airs. And I've got some exciting stuff that I'm up for. Fingers crossed.

And last Tuesday night, I went as guest-speaker at the UCI class "Anime and Manga Explosion" - taught by the one-and-only Northrop Davis. As I did last time, I dragged my buddy Nicole Dubuc with me to answer questions and tell stories. The class was terrific - great questions, great energy. The class ended with them pitching their final projects to us in class, and wow, these kids have some great stuff going.

Saturday night, my buddies Eric & Tom were down from San Francisco, so a bunch of us all met up at Eric's parents' house in Long Beach. Very weird driving down there again. I'd spent my childhood up until age 12 in the 90808 zip code and this was the first time I'd been back there in a long time. Spent Cinco De Mayo reminiscing about things I could barely remember, then spent the rest of the evening chatting, laughing, and consuming the innards of a pink unicorn piñata.

And I haven't seen Spiderman 3 yet. I'd like to, despite all my friends warning me not to.

I guess that's it for "news". I'll do some more blogging when I have something interesting to say... in other words, it could be a while. Stay safe everybody!

Curse you, (815) Area Code!

So today, I got a call on my cell phone from someone in the 815 area code - Chicago. I don't know anyone in that area code, so it's pretty clear to me that someone is mis-dialing. Trying to reach someone at (815), they're dialing (818) and reaching me.

And it's getting really annoying.

This is the THIRD TIME in three weeks that this person has called my cell phone. The first time was kinda amusing. The second time was kinda stupid. But this third time has got me thinking something needs to be done.

Possibilities I've come up with-

CONFRONT THEM. Next time they call, instead of sending the call to voicemail, answer them and ask them why they keep calling me. Maybe suggest helpfully in my most non-sarcastic voice that they, I don't know, consider putting the correct phone number on speed dial so they stop calling me. Or maybe suggest unhelpfully in my most sarcastic voice that they're too dense to use a phone.

INSULT THEM. Next time they call, shout something like, "Whattsa matter? You too STOOPID to dial the 815 part right?"

CONFUSE THEM. Next time they call, pick up the phone, start sobbing, and tell them, "I don't love you anymore. Don't ever call me again." Then hang up. Maybe they won't realize that they dialed the wrong number and this'll ruin their day. At the very least they'll spend a few seconds confused.

UNNERVE THEM. Next time they call, tell them that I've been eagerly anticipating their phone call and ask if they want to be friends. If they don't answer or hang up, call them back and BEG THEM to be my friend. Tell them I'm lonely and need companionship. Then tell them I'll be their bestest friend ever. There's a risk that they might say yes, but chances are that they'll know to never ever make that 818 mistake again.

SCARE THEM. Shout, "AHHHHHHHHH!" into the phone whenever they call. I just hope they don't have a heart condition - I'd hate to accidentally kill somebody in the 815 area code no matter how much they annoy me.

BRING IN A THIRD-PARTY. Next time they call, call the correct person they're trying to reach at (815) and tell them, "Someone's looking for you. Can you maybe get them to stop calling me? Thanks."

IGNORE THEM. This can't keep happening, right? Eventually they'll stop calling me, right? Right? Anyone?

If you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in comments.

Answering the Email

Woo. My first blogpost where I answer questions that get sent to me. This way seems as good as any to fill the space on this blog.

First off, got this email from my buddy Greg-

Hockey... When are you going to review how you did on your season predictions you did in sep/oct post, hhhuuuummummmm?

@#$#. Okay. The reason I don't review my season predictions is because, well, because they're always horribly wrong. So instead of spotlighting my ignorance and foolishness, I try to hide it by pretending it never happened.

But I'll always do what the people want. So from back in October 2006, here's how I predicted the Western Conference-

1. Anaheim Ducks
2. Calgary Flames
3. Nashville Predators
4. San Jose Sharks
5. Detroit Red Wings
6. Minnesota Wild
7. Dallas Stars
8. Edmonton Oilers

Okay, not bad. I got 7 out of the 8 teams in the playoffs. How about the Eastern Conference?

1. Ottawa Senators
2. New Jersey Devils
3. Carolina Hurricanes
4. Philadelphia Flyers
5. Buffalo Sabres
6. New York Rangers
7. Atlanta Thrashers
8. Montreal Canadiens

Not as good. I got 5 out of 8, and I picked the Flyers to do well and they ended up the worst team in the league.

Okay - how about my favorite team, the LA Kings?

13. Los Angeles Kings

Okay - I picked them to be 13th out of 15 teams in the conference. They ended up 14th, so pretty close.

I suppose I need to make my predictions about the playoffs. I'm rooting for Buffalo, because there's something nice about a team that's suffered so many heart-breaking years finally breaking through and getting a championship. But man. I don't see how anyone can beat the Ducks. They're just stacked. I hope I'm wrong, but they look unbeatable right now.

Onto the next question, a writing question-

As a writer do you get writer's block often?

Writer's block is a weird one. It's been so hyped up and mystified to the point that I think people are too quick to label anything less than pure genius on the first try as writer's block.

Me, personally, I've never had anything that I'd consider writer's block. I've had times where all the ideas I came up with were awful. One could argue that those times are still ongoing. But whenever I hit a point where I'm not happy with what I'm coming up with, I like to stop, take a step back, and get some perspective. Stop writing for a day. Just think about the idea some. Go read a book or watch a movie. Seeing other ideas in motion can spark an idea in your own head.

And be patient. Diamonds don't come out of the ground as engagement rings. They have to be dug up by impoverished amputees, fought over by angry warlords, traded by Djimon Hounsou for his kids, before they reach the local shopping mall. Your great ideas won't necessarily come out of the ground ready to go - you may even think they have no substance to them. But as you think about it and it germinates, it might spring new ideas and directions.

One last tip that I used to do - might not work for you, but something I did. I kept a notebook where I jotted down ideas, thoughts, questions, jokes, stupid things I saw, etc. Never used the notebook for anything other than random stuff. Then when I had times when I didn't like my ideas, I'd flip open the book - and voila. There was a bunch of stuff I could steal guilt-free.

Hope this helps!